This thing has changed us.
We are not the same people we were eleven months ago. Whatever the expectations, we could never have emerged from this age of uncertainty unaffected.
A year ago we didn’t pay much attention when the first reports came out, until it started hitting close to home, looking on in disbelief as many were wrapped in cloaks of excruciating heartache and shattered by the loss of life inflicted by a dreaded monster.
We knew the world had seen the worst while we frantically searched for updates on the impact of a variant of a ravenous pathogen that galloped ahead at neck-breaking speed, sowing horror among a human race left vulnerable. Each time news of yet another fatality or instance gets recorded it re-introduces that fear of something we have no control over.
It is hard to believe that it’s been a month already since the countdown to 2021 that was ushered in without the usual tinge of excitement or the customary spraying of bubbly to mark the arrival of another year. More of a nervous condition due to the enemy that had the globe in its tentacles. As the clock chimed at midnight, black clouds blocked out the sun for it had manifested itself within the ranks of the extended family, at first hovering above for about a fortnight until horror struck.
The most difficult has been looking on from a distance and not being able to console a soul someone with whom one plans long-term engagements, like a trip to Venice. She dreamt of gliding in a gondola with a glass of chilled white wine in hand. I, of photographing things we see on Instagram. Now our plans don’t extend beyond Sunday.
It came knocking at our door too. “When is it going to end!”, I exclaimed that morning as we were leaving the house for the drive-through testing station after experiencing symptoms the day before. Silence, relief and prayer met the outcome of results that came back negative that evening.
Without a doubt all these months of instability, insecurity and impatience have changed our holed-up existence irrevocably. In contrast to life progressing at a new pace and rhythm, it slowed down to somewhat of a halt for our emotions to catch up with the shock to the system. We have come to the realisation that it wouldn’t ever be the same again.
Once the world gets declared safe again we will go out and go meet our responsibilities like we used to, but surely we would contemplate scaling down on long-term plans from here on. The emphasis has changed, forcing us to worry about the now, maybe tomorrow but not the day thereafter anymore. That single thing we might very well be certain about is that we shouldn’t be bothered about the not-supposed-tos any longer.
For this thing has changed us.
Comments